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Sherlock Fic: How To Accidentally Summon a Demon

December 23rd, 2010 (01:07 am)
sleepy
Tags: ,

current mood: sleepy

Fandom: Sherlock
Title: How To Accidentally Summon a Demon
Word Count: 1335
Characters: Sherlock, John, and a demon. God, it sounds like a sitcom or something.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.
Summary: Filled for this prompt here on the kink meme: Sherlock is possessed by some sort of demon. It is not an absolutely evil creature, but it is definitely twisted and wicked and damned.

John doesn't even notice the difference.







As the demon rifled through this man’s (Sherlock, it picked up as it scanned through his memories. The demon had been around for thousands of years, but even it could admit that the name was fairly ridiculous) mind, it grinned. Oh, this was rich. Somehow it had just found the one person on Earth who was stupid enough to summon a demon by accident.

The demon surveyed the kitchen table, eyeing the rabbit’s bone, the herbs, and the runes that had summoned it. According to Sherlock’s memories it was an experiment of sorts. Amused, the demon looked at the paper cut on his current host’s finger which was where the blood had come from to seal the deal.

Well, it said deal. A deal implied more of a symbiotic relationship, when this was more of a, well, parasitic sort of thing.

Understandably, Sherlock really wasn’t pleased about having his body being taken over by a demonic being. The demon was rather surprised though; instead of pleading and begging like most did, this Sherlock bloke just mentally surveyed it, fascinated, and then began a tirade of some sort of logic drivel. Frankly, it was all giving the demon a headache.

It sighed, its voice coming out as a low baritone. “Do shut up,” it said, rolling it’s eyes. Sherlock, of course, didn’t, and continued some sort of deduction about who and what the demon was. A tad ridiculous, as it was already well aware of that.

Still, his host's ranting was worth it when the demon was able to flex its fingers and enjoy the sensation of the movement. It grinned, and if anyone had seen Sherlock’s face, they would have witnessed it twisting into a mischievous, yet not altogether unfamiliar, expression.

/

The demon bit his (or Sherlock’s, whatever) lip as John entered the flat. This was always the hardest part. It could read its hosts thoughts and know every single thing about them, but the people closest to the host could generally tell if something was…off, about them. This had led to a few awkward moments in the demon’s past, and it had been hoping this host would be better.

John made his way into the kitchen, and silently raised an eyebrow at the runes and blood on the table. The demon winced internally, not quite sure if it had an explanation for this, but before it could even open its mouth, John said, “Is this for the case?”

The demon blinked and nodded. Unbelievable. Blood, bones, and symbols of power were scattered on the kitchen table, and John Watson was acting as though it was the norm. The demon wondered if this sociopath had gotten himself an actual saint as a roommate.

You really are an imbecile, aren’t you? Sherlock thought. Ah, so the host was testy once the subject of John Watson was brought up. The demon smiled smugly as Sherlock sulked in his corner of their shared body.

“What do these mean?” John asked, pointing at the symbols in curiosity, and unknowingly interrupting the conversation between the demon and Sherlock.

The demon mentally shook himself and began explaining the runes in far more detail than any human would be able to, but again, John didn’t seem to find this at all odd. Fascinating.

/

The demon was performing a blood ritual when John next walked in on it. This time it really was sure it was screwed. It could only get away with so many “experiments” before John got suspicious, and even Sherlock was rolling his eyes at the situation. Silence, the demon growled internally, and Sherlock’s thoughts miraculously (or not so) came to a halt for what was probably the first time in his life.

Amazingly enough, as opposed to John suspecting that his flatmate wasn’t exactly human after all, the man just scowled. “If you stain the floor with that, Mrs. Hudson is going to kill us.”

The demon stared at John Watson for almost a full minute before the doctor began to waver under its gaze. “What?” John asked.

Blinking, the demon looked away. Perhaps there was a good explanation for this. John Watson was obviously mentally deficient. The demon could feel Sherlock rolling his eyes at it and scowled. “Your whole species is completely idiotic,” the demon muttered under its breath.

Instead of acting affronted, John laughed. “And what does that make you?”

The demon only smiled and continued with its ritual, painting the blood in slow, careful circles.

/

John opened the refrigerator and sighed. This, the demon thought, was surely it. The point where John would realize there was definitely something off about Sherlock.

And indeed, John looked at Sherlock and narrowed his eyes. The demon had practically resigned itself to a new body when John spoke up.

“Sherlock, do you really have to keep the body parts right next to the milk?”

The demon blinked. Well that was…unexpected. This John Watson was even more peculiar than it’d thought. Either that, or he was just mad. Both options were looking acceptable at this point.

/

It’d been a few days since the demon had borrowed the body of Sherlock Holmes, and not once had John been at all fazed by it. Any of it. Not the rituals, or the dead animals, or the complete disregard for humanity (this last one was treated with a sort of resigned exasperation rather than the usual disgust).

The thing that gave him away, in the end, was that he’d needed some pig's blood for another ritual, this one for more lucrative businesses (it’d been awhile since the demon had been able to get up a good soul trade, and it was quite pleased at the prospect of it).

Putting on Sherlock’s coat, the demon called to John (because it just seemed like the sort of thing flatmates did), “Going to do some food shopping. Need anything while I’m out?”

It was the most innocent comment the demon had made all week, and yet it was the only one that made John’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “What’s wrong?” he said, voice tense.

The demon raised its eyebrow in confusion. “…nothing? I was only offering to do the shop.”

This comment, even more innocent than the last, actually got the demon flattened against the wall by an irate looking John Watson. The demon's eyes widened in shock as it found its arms pinned against its back.

“And you and I both know that the one time you did the shopping, I ended up strapped to a bomb. You doing the shopping is never good. So tell me: what. Is. Wrong?” John said sharply.

The demon only looked at John for a moment. Sherlock’s surprise was just as acute as its own, and underneath that the demon could sense a hint of pride. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” it asked, amazed at the two nutcases who resided in 221.

“Nope,” John said, shaking his head.

The demon could only laugh at that. “Brilliant,” it said, before it decided that while it was endlessly fascinating here, even the demon wasn’t sure if it could handle the eccentric life of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.

/

“A…a demon,” John repeated slowly.

“Yes,” Sherlock said through gritted teeth, stretching out his muscles. God, did it feel good to have his own body back again. “Amazing really, that you didn’t notice a single thing off. Not the blood rituals, or the animal sacrifices, any of it.”

“Oh, right, what normal human would draw runes or keep corpses in the refrigerator? Or have animal bodies around for ‘experiments’? Oh wait, you,” John said, rolling his eyes.

Sherlock sighed and flexed his fingers, relishing the small miracle of being able to operate his own body parts. He paused for a moment. “…You really didn’t notice anything until it offered to do the shop?”

John shook his head. “Nope.”

Sherlock probably should have been offended, but instead he found himself laughing. “Brilliant,” he said softly.


---

The sequel, How To Accidentally Open a Portal to Hell: http://patster223.livejournal.com/8396.html#cutid1

Comments

Page 1 of 2[1][2]
Posted by: Fish Eye no Miko (fenm)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 07:28 am (UTC)
eyes

LOL! Awesome. The poor demon's all, "Dude, you guys are crazy; I'm out!"

Posted by: atlinmerrick (atlinmerrick)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 07:39 am (UTC)

Your brain....what's it like in there? Because this is just wonderfully skewed. Just...this is great.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:28 pm (UTC)

Posted by: lastwordy_mcgee (lastwordy_mcgee)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)

Posted by: talimenios79 (talimenios79)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 07:46 am (UTC)

Lol. This was perfect. The shopping is what would give it away, isn't it. Hilarious.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)

I swear, when you think of anything the demon would do out of the ordinary, Sherlock's already done it. xD Thank you!!

Posted by: I'm not inclined to resign to maturity (spacemonkeyluvn)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 07:50 am (UTC)
holmes:: Yes.What.Yes.

LOL Love it :D

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)

Thank you! :D

Posted by: dreamer_marie (dreamer_marie)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)

That was really funny :-)

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)

I'm glad you think so! Thanks! :D

Posted by: Shannon (lbmisscharlie)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)

Loved this on the kinkmeme, so I'm totally favoriting it now! I love how John just takes all the weirdness in stride and how confusing the demon finds it.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:30 pm (UTC)

Haha, that poor demon was not prepared for just how weird Sherlock and John are. xD Thank you so much! : )

Posted by: dela12 (dela12)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 09:24 am (UTC)

OMG! The shopping gave it away!!! Haha! XD The Daemon is probably telling Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson's story in Hell by now! And how unfortunate he was to ACTUALLY live inside Sherlock's head! XD

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:32 pm (UTC)

ROFL! Oh gosh, I bet it is. It probably just goes down and went, "You would not BELIEVE the week I just had." *so amused* And I feel sorry for anyone who has to live inside Sherlock's head!
Thank you!!

Posted by: dela12 (dela12)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 10:36 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Hooker Boots (oxfordtweed)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 10:14 am (UTC)
Sherlock - Shut up I'm Geniusing!

Yeah, that would totally happen in this case. How to tell when Sherlock is possessed by a hell demon from hell: he offers to do the shopping. XD

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)

I actually have a mini-fanon in my head that John and Sherlock's code word (for when something is wrong, but they can't say anything) is for Sherlock to say he's going to do the shopping. Then John KNOWS something's up. xD
Thank you!

Posted by: Ariane DeVere (arianedevere)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 11:54 am (UTC)
Sherlock - poolside smile

Hilarious, and really clever! I almost feel sorry for the demon!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)

Haha! You gotta feel sorry for it, don't you, living in SHERLOCK'S head. xD Thank you!! :D

Posted by: kunju (innie_darling)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
sherlock: being a bitch isn't helpful?

Heeeeeeeee!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)

xDDD Thank you!

Posted by: mutant master of scintillating sarcasm (ignipes)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC)
a three-patch problem

Hee! This is great.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)

Thanks!! :D

Posted by: bugeyedmonster (bugeyedmonster)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC)

This was a fun read.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC)

Thank you! : )

Posted by: Nonsensical Whatnotterist (random_nexus)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
Shadowcreature Grin

LOVE. THIS.

Memories NOW!

Heeeee! \o/

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC)

THANK YOU!! :D :D :D

Posted by: Michelle (halftime1030)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)

*sporfle*

Love Sherlock's last line too LOL :)

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)

Omg your icon is hilarious. xDDDD
Thank you!

Posted by: Michelle (halftime1030)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 02:39 am (UTC)

Posted by: bee_n_a (bee_n_a)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 03:38 am (UTC)

Oh this was awesome! I loved the demon(that is something I never thought I'd say about a demon =p)

I like the way you made Sherlock's eccentricities seem so normal that the normal was what actually tipped John off ^^

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 25th, 2010 04:51 am (UTC)

Lol! I'm glad you loved it. Even I kind of felt sorry for it by the end, having to put up with Sherlock and John's nonsense. xD

Thank you! :D

Posted by: bee_n_a (bee_n_a)
Posted at: December 25th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)

Posted by: I am weasel (killerweasel)
Posted at: December 24th, 2010 05:12 am (UTC)
cthulhu_sherlock

This was great. :D

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 25th, 2010 04:50 am (UTC)

I'm glad you liked it, thank you! :D

Posted by: leoraine (leoraine)
Posted at: December 27th, 2010 07:59 am (UTC)

Simply brilliant! LOL! Faved it in my deli account. Thanks for the great read:-)

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 27th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC)

I'm glad you liked, thank you so much! : )

Posted by: Starrylizard (starrylizard)
Posted at: December 28th, 2010 11:46 am (UTC)

Teehee! Oh so amusing. Even the demon is totally phased by their weird existence.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 28th, 2010 08:13 pm (UTC)

Rofl, I know right? Thanks, I'm glad you thought it was funny! :D

Posted by: My Alter Ego is a freak. (malevolent73)
Posted at: December 29th, 2010 03:13 am (UTC)
Sherlock - Sherlock jumping excitement

Brilliant is right. And clever. And wonderful. And a massively enjoyable read. Great job!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: December 29th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)

Oh, well thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. : )

Posted by: aelfgyfu_mead (aelfgyfu_mead)
Posted at: January 2nd, 2011 01:25 am (UTC)
Watson plot

Hilarious! This story made me laugh out loud. It makes perfect sense!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: January 4th, 2011 03:52 am (UTC)

Haha, I know right? The prompt was just brilliant. xD Thank you!! ^.^

Posted by: uptothewords (uptothewords)
Posted at: January 29th, 2011 07:17 pm (UTC)

“And you and I both know that the one time you did the shopping, I ended up strapped to a bomb. You doing the shopping is never good. So tell me: what. Is. Wrong?” John said sharply.

So very true.

This fic is tres awesome!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: January 31st, 2011 05:38 am (UTC)

LOL, Sherlock doing the shopping automatically sets off alarm bells in John's head. xD

Thank you!!

Posted by: redrikki (redrikki)
Posted at: February 14th, 2011 03:38 pm (UTC)

Literally laughed out loud...at work. Thank goodness I was the only one in the room.

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: February 19th, 2011 04:04 am (UTC)

LOL! I'm happy I could make you laugh! ^^

Posted by: c0ntrarywise (c0ntrarywise)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 06:02 am (UTC)
Anatomy: Haha

lol :D

Sherlock's behaviour at the end rounded this out perfectly!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 10:35 pm (UTC)

Haha, thank you!!

Posted by: Geaven (geaven)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 10:32 am (UTC)
Good Omens - Thud thud splat

One of my other fandoms is Supernatural, which is crawling with demons, so I kind of saw the demon in your story like one of them, which made me laugh my arse off. ^^

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)

Haha! I was kind of comparing the two too, in my head, and just laughing. SO different. xDDD Thank you!

Posted by: not a morning person... (tattoo_kink)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 11:56 am (UTC)

And here I've thought nothing can top the Winchester boys. *gg*

YOU WIN!

<333

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)

LOL! I think Sherlock and John might actually top them in this instance (if what they did can even be called an "exorcism")! xD

THANK YOU! <3

Posted by: Mrs_Sweetpeach (mrs_sweetpeach)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 04:35 pm (UTC)

Just read this and the previous stories. I found them quite amusing, particularly the end of this one (regarding the willingness to shop). The poor demon, he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. Or whom, for that matter!

Posted by: patster223 (patster223)
Posted at: February 23rd, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)

You're right, it's no easy business getting into Sherlock's body (and I swear, that doesn't sound dirty at all...). Thank you!

73 Read Comments
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